Are Same-Sex Couples Better Communicators Than Heterosexual Couples?
By Dr. Solomon Rothstein
According to experts, the answer is yes.
When couples are of different gender there is a greater chance of a breakdown of communication. Women share with me, “he doesn’t listen to me when I am talking to him, he is either reading or watching TV.” Men often complain, “She never lets me finish speaking when I am trying to make a point. I give up. She can talk forever on the phone to her girl friend, but when it comes to me she’s impatient and constantly interrupts my train of thought.”
There is a reason why a woman can talk to another woman without coming up for air. There is a reason why men like to hang out together and eagerly engage in lively conversation. According to Psychiatrist Michael Hunter and fellow researchers at the University of Sheffield in England, there is a big difference between how a man hears a male voice compared to how he processes a female voice. A man hears another male’s voice as SPEECH. But to a man’s brain, a woman’s voice is different. The male brain processes a woman’s voice in the same way it processes MUSIC. Women generally have shorter vocal folds, and their vocal delivery shows more variety in pitch and volume. There is a melody to a females’ voice, a more poetic quality to their speech. The result… they sound more like music to a man’s ears and herein is the problem. In many Heterosexual relationships, should the woman’s melody be “Bad Music”… If it is irritating, whining and loaded with static he turns her off.
Same Sex couples face many challenges in todays’ society. But, they are ahead of the game when it comes to being successful communicators. Men, let your speech patterns be purposeful and meaningful and you will discover a very attentive partner. And women, let your music be pleasant, joyful and loving and you will discover a happy and fulfilled partner.
About The Author
DR. SOLOMON ROTHSTEIN
A Conservative, LGBT friendly Rabbi, was ordained at the Jewish Theological Seminary of America. He is often referred to as “The Rabbi to The Stars”, having served as the Spiritual Leader of Sinai Temple, in Los Angeles, California. Among the many celebrities in his congregation were stars such as Kirk and Michael Douglas, Aaron Spelling, Buddy Hackett , Don Rickles, Steve and Eddie, Angie Dickenson, Jerry Vale and Charles Bronson.
Rabbi Rothstein has a chapter devoted to him in the book “The Best Speakers I ever Heard”, by Dottie Walters of the International Speakers Bureau. A Psychologist and Relationship expert, Rabbi Rothstein has collaborated with John Gray author of “Men are From Mars, Women are From Venus”. In this capacity, Dr. Rothstein lectures widely on How to Bring More Romance into Your Life. A former Professor in Drama and Dynamics of Communication at Rutgers University, his courses were extremely popular on campus because of his wit and sparkling sense of humor. Very active in the general community to bring people closer to one another regardless of their religion won him the respect and admiration of the Dominican College of Blauvelt New York where he served as a Visiting Professor. The Dominican Nuns admiringly called him “Our Rabbi.”
Visit Rabbi Solomon Rothstein
Not only that, but they truly just love each other, spending as much time as possible together exploring foodie hot spots and gastropubs, hanging out with their dog Woody (who yes, dresses up like Woody from Toy Story!). We loved spending the afternoon with them, and now we’re even more excited than we already were for their wedding! - Ashley, Randy + Ashley Studios
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